Not So Scary Anymore

I have a complicated relationships with ghosts. If you were to ask me if I believed in them, I would just flat out say no, but if you put me somewhere dark and started to tell me a scary story, it would be very easy to get me to believe that something was going to come out at me. At least, it used to be like that. I actually think I'm becoming less easy to scare, which I have to say makes me rather glad.

I avoided scary movies like the plague for most of my life, but over the years I would see one here or one there. They really don't bother me anymore, and I've found that they never actually succeed in freaking me out more than the slightest bit, even if I watch them at night. I still don't seek out horror movies, although I will watch somewhat creepy stuff on my own. Supernatural is a good example because a few years ago I would have never willingly watched that show, but now I really enjoy it.

I don't know if the reason for this is just growing up or if I managed to see enough scary movies that I was just desensitized. I do remember the first time I actually realized that things that used to be scary weren't so much, and that actually revolved around haunted houses. If I hated scary movies, then I used to despise haunted houses. I never went in one, and I had no desire to. Then, when I was in high school and my brother was in middle school, his class got together to go out to these two haunted houses around Halloween. I can't remember why exactly I decided to go with them, but I think it had something to do with wanting to see if I was actually brave enough to go in.

I was pretty much terrified as we paid and walked to the entrance because even that area was so terrifying that I couldn't imagine what was farther in. Then our group had to be split in two, and they cut us off right in front of me. Yep. I was utterly terrified, and I was no being charged with leading the rest of us through the house. There was no one to cower behind. I basically freaked, and the only adult who remained with us stepped forward. There was no way I was going first. Still, I was second, and the only kids left with us were a group of middle school girls. (We really weren't split in half. Our group was actually really small.) The next thing I know, I'm now second in line, but I have two girls gripping either arm in a death grip with even more trailing off of them. Getting through that haunted house was a struggle, but by about five steps in it wasn't because I was scared. Instead, I could hardly walk because I had a group of preteen girls pulling me back. I was so focused on just being able to walk (I had bruises on my arms after that day.) that I couldn't even bother being scared by my surroundings. The entire experience completely took away any fear of haunted houses I had harbored, and I went through the second one with no problems.

When I think about it, that experience probably bled itself over into being less frightened of horror books or horror movies as well. My blood phobia still causes some problems while trying to watch or read certain things, but that's really the only thing that bothers me. Even if I don't seek the stuff out, I feel much more distanced from the stuff and able to rationally remember that it's fiction.

It's left me feeling a lot more at ease at night too. I was scared of the dark much longer than most people, and I used to have such a strong fear that our house was haunted whenever it so much as creaked at night. (My sister's insistence that there was, in fact, a ghost in our house didn't help.) Now I may get the prickly feeling of slight fear every so often, but it's much easier to push away and sleep without worrying.

If you had told me before that I would eventually not find that sort of stuff scary, I wouldn't have believed you. After all, my family went to a supposedly haunted library once, and while I was using the restroom, my sister convinced me that the draft from the air conditioning was a ghost, which resulted to me yelling. In a library. In the middle of the day. Needless to say, I was very easy to scare, so I never thought I'd be able to actually sit through a scary movie and laugh at the cheesiness instead of jumping at everything. I have to say that I'm happy with the change.